The Tiny Dog*

the tiny dog

*New TV-related material coming soon.**

**Actually, probably not. But I will try.

XOXO,

RB

Uh oh! Potter learned how to text…

Text from Potter, vol. 1

We might be in trouble…… Remind me to limit her texts….

XOXO

RB

Twitter Fame

I’ve been a twittering fool, y’all.

And it is starting to pay off.

My homegirl, Garland, and I would like to get famous from twitter. A few months ago, during American Idol auditions, (don’t judge,  I am still watching voting.) I made a ridiculous tweet about my unnatural love for the show and Steven Tyler (for real, i must remember to get some feathers in my hair) and, since I was tweeting about American Idol, I just decided to mention them. And also Ryan Seacrest. And then I went on my merry way.

An hour or so later, I was laying (lying?) in bed catching up on twitter and email. You know, in case I had missed anything major in the last 57 minutes. I saw the email first. It said “American Idol has retweeted your tweet.” Then I saw one that said “Ryan Seacrest has retweeted your tweet.”

Here is what happened next:

Me: (jumping up IN the bed) AGHHHHHHHHHHH THEY RETWEETED ME!!! *the amount of flipping out has been edited out

Hubs: What does that mean? Do we get any money?

Me: NO but it means I am on my way!!!!!!

Hubs: To what?

Me: Um, making it? Twitter Fame? I don’t know?! omg omg omg omg

After hubs did not appropriately celebrate with me, I had to text Garland. Props to her for always staying up past midnight and responding promptly, and with actual enthusiasm!

****************************************************************************

OK. So. That was just the beginning. I started tweeting my “Following” like mad. And guess what? Some of them started writing back!

So, let’s have a recap. A little Bridget Jones moment, Twitter- Style, if you will. Or even if you won’t. (Note: I did have a couple of tweets from a local “celeb” in my opinion, but now, I babysit for his kids, soooo… Probably shouldn’t blog about that!)

Number of Weather Channel Anchors that have tweeted me: 3 (Jim Cantore , Mike Bettes, and Eric Fisher)

Number of times Americal Idol tweeted me: 2 (That’s right! It happened again! The proof is in the photos, below)

Number of times I have played Jimmy Fallon’s Hashtag Game: at least 20

Number of times Jimmy has used my hashtag response on air: 0

But, number of times I have made honorable mention on his website: 1

Number of Olympic Athletes/ American Heroes that have tweeted Garland: 1 (Apollo Ohno)

Number of times Dave Ramsey tweeted me: 1

Number of times I have tweeted Chris Harrison: I literally cannot count that high

Number of times he has responded: ZERO! WHAT IS THE DEAL, CHRIS???

Getting a response from Chris Harrison, of Bachelor fame, is my one goal in life. Garland and I are counting on this happening. That way, she can drop out of college and we can be famous! I have tried everything- sending him the same tweet multiple times, especially when The Bachelor is airing (it’s all about timing), tweeting him when the Bachelor is not airing or filming, and also, tweeting him at random times of the day about random things. And I got nothing. Nada. Seriously, Chris! Where are you??

Anyone have any suggestions? What’s your fav RT you have ever gotten??

RB

AI tweet 1

Apollo Ohno, a true American Hero

JF Hashtag Honorable Mention

Eric Fisher, TWX

AI tweet 2

DR tweet

That’s all I have. Peace out.

why you may not want to be friends with me, volume one

I don’t usually make New Years Resolutions, because we all know I am not the best at sticking with “resolutions”
For 2011, I told my sister that I was not making resolutions. Not because I think that I have reached Perfection. But mostly because I know that by the MLK holiday two weeks into the year, I won’t even remember what exactly it was that I have resolved to do (or not do). My sister asked if I could consider making just one,  that could it be  “to not put as many pictures of potter on facebook??” After I picked myself up from the floor upon realizing that not all of my 2000 friends enjoy seeing 8 pictures a day of her napping, and then 2 more every time she changes positions and gives me the stink eye for keeping the camera in her face, I decided I would do it. And I had a smashing success with that one! For real. So I decided to make two Resolutions for 2012. They are:

1. To Eat More Cheese fries with bacon and no green things from Huey’s.
This is something that I have always wanted for myself, and it is time to make this happen!
This picture should say it all!

off to a great start in 2012... 2x already!

2. To have more clutter in my life.

No, your eyes are not broken; you read that correctly. I am a clutter person, and I married a clutter person. Actually, we are not so much “clutterers” as we are “pilers”… we pile stuff up all the time.

I have spent years trying to kill the little part of my brain and heart that love piles of stuff. Everyone has always told me that I will be happier, be less stressed, be able to find things, etc. But here is the reality of the situation: we clutters tend to be the people that do not stress easily, we are well rested because we, as a breed, love to sleep (to escapes the clutter??), and we can always find things because whatever we are looking for is ALWAYS IN A PILE!

Really, I don’t see what is so hard about this. There are some major fallacies in the de-cluttering logic. First, the whole “everything has its place” really makes no sense to me because putting things “Away” seems like a colossal waste of time (see also: making the bed). Whenever you need something, you have to take the time to stop, remember where the Place is, walk to the Place, and pull the item out. Then when you are finished, you have to remember (again) where the Place is, walk back to the Place, put item back in Place, then resume what you were doing before you needed the item. If, instead, you just put it, say, on the table, then you have saved yourself about three minutes. THREE WHOLE MINUTES THAT YOU COULD BE SLEEPING OR WATCHING TV!!! See?

Second, I have spent a lot of life feeling guilty that I did not feel guilty about my clutter. Like, I heard all the teachers and mothers (not just mine) telling me my locker, backpack, trapper keeper, room, car, etc was always a mess and OMG HOW DID I EVER FIND ANYTHING? and DOESN’T IT BOTHER YOU TO LET OTHER PEOPLE SEE YOUR ROOM LIKE THIS?  I actually thought my eyes were maybe flawed because when I looked around, I didn’t see mess. I just saw my life. In piles. Hidden under sweaters on the floor and in chairs. AND I DIDN’T FEEL BADLY ABOUT IT. I felt bad because I was apparently SUPPOSED to feel badly, but none of this really bothered me at all. It only stressed me out that apparently I was born without the part of my brain that processes “mess” and “stress that accompanies mess” and that, in and of itself, was stressful. But the mess was not.

So, here is what I did. I spent every January and August trying to get organized. I bought all kinds of locker shelves and school supplies and closet organizers and bigger dressers to hold all my clothes (as opposed to the chair in my room) and I made check-lists (that were forgotten two weeks later) and came up with systems and had accountability partners and NONE OF IT WORKED. (At some point in all of this, I got on my beloved ADD meds, and while that fixes a lot of my problems, it does not fix the clutter.) True story: at the end of senior year in high school, we were supposed to clean out our lockers and find our homeroom teacher so he/she could inspect and then check us off a list of approval so we could graduate. I went to my homeroom teacher about 2 minutes into the cleaning period. She could not believe that, of all people, I was FIRST to be finished. But really, I just needed to find out how I could get a copy of my locker combo, because I had not used the locker the entire year. Once we got it open, it was spic and span, with just a massive set of locker shelves and some empty notebooks with dividers with pockets and tabs and stacks of unopened notebook paper. And a pencil case. While she was contemplating the amazingness of a student never using her locker the entire year, I pulled out my stuff, put it in a paper sack, got my name checked off, and WAS THE FIRST ONE FINISHED!!! There was no going through my stuff like everyone else, no crying over sentimental pictures I had hung in my locker, no organizing all the stuff that was in my locker. All that stuff was already crammed and wadded up and stuffed in my backpack, where it had been all year. I peaced out of school 38 minutes early that day while everyone else sat around crying and organizing. CHUMPS!!

Last January (or maybe two Januarys ago), I was in the grocery store and saw some magazine that had a month-by-month plan to de-clutter your life. In another attempt to mentally override the clutter loving part of my brain, I bought the magazine. I read it cover to cover. It seemed very doable. It seemed like something I could handle. I was triumphant because now I could be freed from the guilt of not feeling guilty! Aaaaand guess what? I lost the magazine. The irony of this is not lost on me here. The magazine? yes, that is lost. Long gone. But the irony? Nope, I’ve got that. But I had been reading on blogs and facebook and the internet, from both friends and experts, how clutter is bad. One article even told me that if I have clutter, I will be overweight, ashamed, and lonely. That article is obviously written by a DC’er (declutter-er). MAN I really wanted to feel bad about this, but I just didn’t. I even had friends who took a few days off work to de-clutter their lives. They read books and had a plan and so I thought maybe I would try that. So I gave myself one day. I set my alarm for 11 am, ate breakfast, watched some friends re-runs, and by 2 pm, I was ready to roll! I had a trash bag and was ready to start throwing stuff away. The first thing I found was a stack of my old yearbooks. So I read those for a good hour and had some laughs. I moved those to the attic. Then I needed a snack (I had forgotten to take my ADD meds, so I was hungry!) and took the dog for a run. Just to clear my head. I came back and organized my tax documents from the year before. Then, I realized it was time to shower and get ready for a dinner date with my hubs so I called it quits for the day. It was a day well spent if you ask me!

In an effort to make this post more scientific, I used the google and looked up characteristics of neat freaks. And guess what I found out? THEY HAVE WAY MORE HEALTH ISSUES, OVERALL, THAN WE CLUTTER LOVERS! They tend to have: high blood pressure, anxiety, eating disorders, and depression 73% more of the time than messy slobs!!! They also report an astounding 80% more unhappiness in life than the rest of us! Now, I realize I am talking about two extremes here, and every DC’er that I know is not the extreme. But I am just saying….. Psychology Today has way more articles about the DC’ers than the clutter-ers….

In all of this, I am learning to embrace my clutter. It is a part of me. We are messy people, but we are not dirty. And there is a difference. I know some of my friends and family members are reading this and having a panic attack, and for that, I am sorry. But I want to free you from the stress of stressing for me! There is no longer a need! My resolution, to have more clutter in my life, is a way to stop feeling guilty about the piles in my life.
And if you need one more reason to be pro-clutter, it is this: the dog loves it! I have seen the look of sheer panic on her face when I let her inside after I have cleaned the house thoroughly. A look that says “Where is all the crap?!?” And also, if I got rid of all my clutter, how will my future kids and grandkids curse me after I am gone and they are forced to go through the attic and look for treasures? Isn’t that like, a parent’s greatest last word- to leave tons of stuff for the kids to have to go through? To give your kids the gift of reliving your life, piece by piece, and learning even more about the person they loved so dearly? I, for one, would hate to deprive anyone of that……

Here’s to us and our always-evolving-but-never-really-changing-selves,
RB ☺

Dear Potter, and an apology to future children….

Well, we have a two year old in our house now!!! In the modern age of blogging, this means I am supposed to write a tribute to my baby. So, for your reading enjoyment, here are some fun facts about our not-so-baby-girl!

At this age:
-    totally potty trained (has been for a year and a half now!)
-    has dropped her 2nd feeding and now just eats once a day
-    sleeps through the night
-    has all her teeth
-    weighs about 45 lbs
-    no longer sleeps in her bassinet (aka the laundry basket filled with blankets and pillows); now starts each night under the bed and moves to the foot of the bed once we fall asleep
-    except sometimes, she sleeps in the bathroom or in the bathtub
-    loves to chase squirrels
-    does not understand why the neighborhood cats do not want to play with her
-    still takes quite a few puppy naps, but probably only sleeps 16 hours a day (as compared to previous 20 hours!)
-    is talking up a storm! knows the following words/phrases: run, walk, get out of the street, squirrel, the front yard! (must be said with an extreme amount of enthusiasm and act like each time is the first time she has ever been out there!!!!), the back yard, car, daddy, mommy, leash, collar, sock, off, down, couch, furminator (may only actually recognize the object), treat, ice, shelby farms, the park, let’s go home, toy, bone, come see me, WHERE IS _______(insert toy or person’s name here)???, bathtub, bed plus all the words to cue the tricks she does (I am sure I am missing some!)
-    is learning to spell! knows W-A-L-K (*must find a new word to call this!)
-    sees me putting on my running clothes/tennis shoes and knows what that means
-    will want to go for a walk/run, even if we just went for one 30 minutes prior
-    responds to the names: potter, pot, pooper, poopsey, poppet, pippa, booger, and anything else said in a high voice

Dearest Potter,
I will never forget the day we brought you home, when I got to hold you in my arms for the first time. (I had the flu, and sounded like a man in all the videos that we took.)
I could hardly sleep the night before we got you. I had been praying for a little bundle of joy for years- one that would play with me, wake me up with licks in the face, and would love to run.  God has answered my prayers 1000 x over! True fact: I cannot run far enough or fast enough for you! I literally slow you down!

The past two years have been a blur. I  CANNOT believe that you are two years old! I don’t know what your dad and I did with our time before we had you. My two favorite things to do with you are take you to Shelby Farms and go on our nightly runs/walks. I feel like it’s our bonding time. You are my favorite running partner, because you go my speed, run off leash and stay right at my heels, and we don’t have to say a single word while we run! I love to watch you chase Frisbees, balls, and sticks. You can destroy any toy in about 2.37 seconds… Kong toys are no match for you!!! You are so cute when you curiously explore new sights and smells. Your dad and I often say you would make a good drug dog because of your keen sense of smell. We are contemplating starting you in agility classes this summer, and I look forward to that time we will share together!
If there is one thing I look forward to as you grow, it is the day that you love me just as much as your father. I don’t think you understand- I feed you, run with you, and I literally spend time in pet stores contemplating which toys you will like more. ALL HE DOES IS COME HOME!!! You are such a Daddy’s Girl, and even though I joke about it, it is quite endearing. It melts my heart to see this:

snuggles

I am thankful for every single second we spend together. And remember what Mommy tells you all the time- if we bring home a sister for you one day, it doesn’t mean we love you any less… I am told that my heart will grow, and we will love you both the same! But you will always be my baby pooper!
Love, Mom ☺

Dear Future Children of both the canine and human variety,

I will never love you as much as I love Potter.

Apologies, Your Mother

A Quick Look Back…

our first glimpse at you! (look at that stink eye already! we should have known....)

ultrasound pic #2

ultrasound pic #3

your nursery and all your friends waiting for your arrival!

Daddy holding you for the first time!

bringing you home

stopping for a break the day we brought you home

playing with Mr. Nanners... your fav toy! (all that now remains is his head)

cutie pie!

three month check-up

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY!!!!!

A Desperate S.O.S!!!!!

Here is a recent email I sent (recent as in 5 minutes ago) to some friends and family. Blog readers are welcome to help!

Hey Brainiacs,
I need your help seriously. In a big bad way. What Not To Wear is coming to Memphis and, as most of you know, I am DYING to get on!!! Here are two recent blog posts I have had about my desire to be on the show (and how one time I thought I was already on so I wore extra bad clothes…)
http://rottenbrain.blog.com/2010/05/04/%C2%A1no-te-lo-pongas/
http://rottenbrain.blog.com/2011/10/01/maxxinista-i-am-not/

I have nominated myself every season and this year, they are NOT taking self nominations. Will one (or more) of you please think about nominating me?! If you don’t see me everyday and need suggestions, you can say that i fall into the category of “never grew out of the college wardrobe”… I only wear uggs (including ugg houseshoes) in the winter and chacos in the summer, with my tshirts and jeans. And you can talk about how when I try to dress cute, it is always a massive fail. I will help you with any answers you need help with…. or you can get creative and surprise me! I am hoping that the more nominations I get, the more likely I am to get on it. They literally have 10,000 applicants every year so it has to be GOOD to get me noticed!!! You absolutely do not HAVE to do this; I was just trying to think of all the people that know me well or have known me a long time and know how badly I want to be on. And of course, you are all invited to me ambush and reveal party!

Ok, here is the application. Let me know if you need help. Feel free to steal pix from facebook, or I can send you some extra bad ones.
http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/what-not-to-wear/what-not-to-wear-casting.htm

Thanks and love you all!
Rotten Brain

in case your eyes are broken…

… and you haven’t seen me obsessing on facebook and twitter:

JIM CANTORE TWEETED ME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the (other) love of my life shows me some twitter love

See, sometimes it pays off to be a tv addict!! If I had not been obsessed with Criminal Minds and Spencer Reid, this never would have happened. My life is so complete. And I probably need to have higher aspirations….

created by a spring thaw

Hello, Brainiacs.

My good sister recently reminded me on FB of this post with hilarious spam comments left by fellow readers. After re-reading the about disaster that is my blog following, I decided to see if any more good ones had come up in the past 11 months. Now, somewhere along the way, I must have changed something on my settings, because I currently have 3,128 comments that are pending my approval!!!! OMG. I read through 5 pages of them and then had to quit. Here are some of the little gems I found: (ps I do not know why this link is so long, nor do I know how to undo it….)

Gloria’s partner comments:
A lot of thanks for your whole effort on this blog. Gloria enjoys getting into internet research and it is simple to grasp why. A number of us hear all of the lively tactic you render precious techniques via this web site and therefore cause participation from some other people about this situation and our own daughter is in fact becoming educated a whole lot. Have fun with the rest of the year. Your conducting a great job.

UM, WHAT? Anything for Gloria and her daughter??…..

wolfmother tells me:

coop too far away either- for your convenience and for you to have a better lookout on feeding predators. 

I would like to respectively disagree. We have a great angle for seeing the feeding predators, as evidenced by the many squirrels my hubs has killed with a bb gun from the back porch. I think we will leave the coop where it is, for now.

Someone with a Real Name (so they might be a real person) says:

What i don’t understood is actually how you’re not really much more well-liked than you might be right now… Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it is one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!

I don’t understand why I am not more well-liked either! Maybe it’s because I went 10 months without blogging…

Apparently, if I want to stop a blood clot, the key is:

, רציתי להמליץ על המעבדה הבינלאומית בתחום החלקה יפנית אשר מתמחה בביצוע כל הסוגים של

I’m not going to lie; I don’t disagree.

Brat writes:

Myth: Bodybuilding supplements do not work.

Interesting. I am 6 days in to “Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred”… if I still need help after that, I will give you a call.

Someone with no vowels in their name told me:

nejlepsi je the west

Again, we will have to agree to disagree. I believe the answer to be: nejlepsi je the east. EAST is what we were looking for.

Another Real Name describes me as:

Hellishly cooperative, I intent definately be returning because i start my next task.

Well, I did win the “Plays well with Others” award in kindergarten….

THE FOLLOWING READERS HAVE TO LEARN TO FINISH THEIR SENTENCES:

Stamp says: consumers to drink cola, because it was made by humans for humans. And that milk was

DJ Tech Tools: when it comes to energy savings. Concrete and foam is the best insulator available for your

Carrot says: Though the water and mud, created by a spring thaw, can age shoes dramatically, a few simple

And finally, my Biggest Fan writes:

I am an devotee of your website. Safeguard up the good work.

And to that, I say that I will safegaurd up the good work as soon as you learn how to use Google Thesaurus correctly.

For a brief minute, I debated switching this blog to just a blog about bizarre comments that anyone and everyone will apparently leave if you let them….. I literally could have gone on for days. Remind me to do this again, sometime.

XOXO,

Rotten Brain

“This, that, and the third”

Some Project Runway thoughts:

Do we really think Anya has only been sewing for 4 months? I mean, I know she has but it is hard to believe… and not because she is a great seamstress (she is terrible!) but because she somehow made it this far… and i do love her designs…

Burt and Josh are the Mike C and Mondo from last season. Luvzit!

Victor accuses everyone of stealing his ideas. #umno #nicetry

When Kimberly starts talking about how she is “not supposed to be here”… i just cant…

I have just now discovered the project runway site on lifetime where you can watch the extended critiques with Tim AND the judges….  and while perusing the designers, i literally could not remember who two of them were! What is happening to me?!

Oliver did a LOT better when working for someone else- when he did not have a lot of freedom and had to stay within certain boundaries.

Josh really grew on me, but he still bugs. I really cannot decide if i love him or hate him.

Too many team challenges.

Anthony Ryan was my fav.

Least fav celeb judge was Adam Lambert. I like him and he was entertaining on Idol, but I do not consider him a fashion icon.

A co-worker had that Sheepdogs song playing on his itunes or something (he does not use earbuds. lovely) and i almost freaked out. Is that a song now? Like, are people listening to that?

Why am I not hosting that After The Runway show? That girl is terrible and so awkward. #hireme

What is your fav Michael Kors one liner?

xoxo,

RB

sorry for the madness

so sorry for the madness, but i am quitting the tumblr site and returning back here. i am going to work on merging the two blogs over the next few weeks, but in the meantime, please make sure your google readers are up to date! i promise not to move again anytime soon!

xoxo

RB